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  • [citation needed]

    • 17 Dec 2010
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    • Advertising Business Citation Needed Flagged Google Jimmy Wales Madagascar Day Gecko Urgent Appeal Wikipedia
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    Appeal

    It's not that I think Wikipedia's a bad idea. On the contrary—I think it's brilliant.

    What's not brilliant is seeing a giant banner with the founder's photo with the headline:

    "Please read: An urgent appeal from Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales."

    For being ad-free, this sure feels like a whopping ad staring me in the face.

    It's a great site, yes. It's also a giant pain in the ass. Anyone who has ever tried to create a Wikipedia page will attest. Wikipedia is, in my opinion, moderated by a multi-national cult of informational meter maids—minimum-wage/volunteer bullies—venting their insecurities in the form of cut-and-paste "flags" with twelve pages of stipulations and no apparent intention of helping to further my—or Wikipedia's—cause.*

    Desperation doesn't become anyone.

    I don't know what the Google guy's face looks like. Why? Because he's never put a giant ad pleading for money on Google's homepage. Instead, they put up some unobtrusive text ads, allowing them to continue offering their services while not starving to death. A pretty damn good business model if you ask me.

    The reason that Google has failed to conquer Facebook or Twitter or Apple is because those companies are as masterful in their own arenas as Google is in theirs—delivering user-specified information. Fast.

    So: Dear Google Guy, please make poor Jimmy an offer so he can put his unappealing appealing to rest and his idea can flourish. Then give it some serious Google streamlining. Most people use your site to get to his site already anyway.

    The well-paid Googlepedia® staff will have nineteen references for every other word within weeks. Sure I'll see a text ad for car insurance while researching the Madagascar Day Gecko. I'll live.

    # # #

    *my oneword.com page has been flagged for deletion since May 2009. (I'm waiting.)

     

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  • Firework.

    • 11 Dec 2010
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    • 2010 Advertising Billboard Hot 100 Demographic Firework Just Dance Katy Perry Metaphor Number One Hits Top of the Pops Tweens
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    Were it not for my job, I may have never heard this song—number one hit or not. Hell, upon first listen, my gag reflex nearly triggered. Nonetheless, I have heard Katy Perry's Firework upwards of three-hundred times by now. And, though I won't buy the album or voluntarily listen to it again, it's nice to see a song with some amount of substance at the top of the pops.

    A quick perusal of the last decade's number one hits reveals a litany of danceable, memorable nonsense like Bootylicious, Drop It Like It's Hot and Hey Ya. (That being said, I am a firm believer in the healing power that comes with moving one's body to music—shaking it like a Polaroid picture, if you will—regardless of lyrical content.)

    Lyric-wise, Katy Perry has about as much a chance of landing in lauded future literary texts as Snoop Dogg or Outkast, but what I like about Firework is its message:

    Baby you’re a firework, c’mon let your colors burst...

    Yes, it's silly, but to its primary demographic—known as "tweens"—it's an inspiring metaphor. “make 'em go ‘ah ah ah’...” It's annoyingly simple, yet paints a beautiful picture of revealing one's light to the world.

    With such a simplistic and vivid metaphor comes equally vivid comprehension, and when the music engages mind (lyrics), body (rhythm) and heart (melody), it gets instantly imprinted in giant bold letters on the subconscious.

    Perry's natural progression is typical, from the adolescent exploratory phase of kissing girls to teaching us about opposites like hot and cold, then finally exploding in a firework—which may or may not prove analogous to her chart-topping career.

    Who knows? For now, the word of the day is "Firework." And I say kudos to Katy. And kudos to anyone who can see that they truly are "brighter than the moon, moon, moon..."

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    Purveyor of fine words.
    Creative Director at Artifact Studios.
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