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  • Apocalapse.

    • 3 Mar 2011
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    • 2012 Justin Bieber Mayan apocalypse calendar end-of-the-world ice age predictions
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    The Mayans weren't predicting the end of the world with their calendar. They just wanted you to buy the next age's calendar.

    Bieber2012

    Take, for example, my Justin Bieber 2010 photo calendar. It runs out at the end of March 2011. Am I speeding to the supermarket to stock up on canned corn, Space Shuttle ice-cream and bottled water? No. Just like the Mayans, Beiber Corp. Inc. LLC just wants me to dish out for a a new calendar—it's how calendarmakers stay in business.

    Six-thousand years ago, when the Mayan calendar was created, they were just making a calendar. This was pre-printing press, so making a new calendar every year, willy-nilly, wasn't cost-effective. And, though the design of the Mayan calendar is amazing, they figured that after six-thousand years people would get sick of it and be ready for something new.

    Throughout history all generations and nations have felt they were the chosen ones.

    Ironic that being chosen ones always seems to entail experiencing the end of the world.

    It's really just arrogant. The Earth was here long before we showed up and will be here long after we die off. It will continue to have Ice Ages as it always has, then the ice will melt and ebb into another glacial period, then flow out again.

    New Justin Bieber-equivalents will rise and fall, but I think that, in the tradition of hundreds of past end-of-the-world predictions, 2012 will just be another year.

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  • Ice Age 4D.

    • 21 Jan 2010
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    • blog climate change earth changes environment global warming ice age planetary shift polar bears social commentary
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    They say one can see the Great Wall of China from space. Maybe. If you're looking through a high-powered telescope. Still, even as humans approach the 7-billion mark, John Q. Alien would be hard-pressed to see any evidence of life while passing our planet in his spacemobile. I recycle, I don't litter, I lost my SUV—hell, I'm a vegetarian. I'm all for beautifying the Earth and replacing outdated technologies with new, cheaper, cleaner, sustainable alternatives—just to make the grass a little greener and the air a little fresher.
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    I recognize that our planet is experiencing "Climate Change" or "Global Warming." I mean, there was a tornado warning in Los Angeles yesterday—what's that about? Climate change is definitely happening, yet I find it ever so slightly arrogant to claim that humans are causing it. It's called evolution, folks. This planet has experienced at least five Ice Ages before. Did prior civilizations invoke them?—Unlikely. Cavemen? Dinosaurs? The people of Atlantis?—probably not. Just like everything else in this Universe—including the Universe itself—the Earth is expanding and evolving, just as it always has. Of course the polar ice caps are melting—duh!—they've been melting for eons, they are remnants of a Glacial period. Perhaps the Earth is gearing itself up for another substantial shift, and things seem accelerated from our perspective. Regardless, Earth knows what it's doing. It's been at it for billions of years, while Homo Sapiens have been here 0.005% of that time—a blip on the screen—and we act as if we are the end-all/be-all of power. Sure, we're capable of obliterating ourselves, and maybe putting a few scratches in Earth's paint job—but to think that Earth is dependent on us for survival is absurd. Polar bears and seals aren't freaking out about it. They understand that it's the natural order of things to evolve. Of course we, in our arrogance/ignorance, attempt to attach human emotions and fears to creatures incapable of our neuroses. There may be a giant plastic island twice the size of Texas in the Pacific—and it's repulsive that we could let that happen. And I'm not cheering when an oil tanker flies off a bridge, or a Polar Bear's cave melts. I'm simply attempting to see it for what it really is—a matter of respect. Respect for the formidable power of this planet—not our own stupidity and ignorance disguised as power. Respect for the gift and miracle that it is to be here at all.
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